Mariah Carey - Can't Take That Away From Me

This song had always been an inspiration in my life. It depicts life and reminds us to believe in our dreams even if we fail many times. Every cloud has a silver lining. We learn from our mistakes to become a better person. I post this song in hope that it will inspire others as much as it inspires me

- Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine. -
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Grey's Anatomy - How to Save A Life

Me...

Dear all,

Sorry for not updating.
There have been a lot of things happening since my return to the Aberdeen city
There were good things and bad things
However, I am proud to say that even the bad had its silver lining
So, what's new?
I am currently doing my paramedical block, in which I do things that are somewhat unrelated to medicine. So, I was given a 7 week course of TWO Philosophy classes.... one is Philosophy for Medical Students and another is the History and Science of philosophy... This is absolutely new to me and I realise that I am absolutely ShiTE in philosophy. Lolz...At first, I worked hard to do well, but I soon found out that I just don't have the talent for it. It is not that I had totally given up. It's just that I finally let myself strive less for good results. Give myself a break.. Something I should have done long ago!!! I just can't wait for the next week because that would be the end of this block. And I will be back in MEDICINE. Lolz..

Next...

I am now taking up 3 jobs. It is amazing. I am summarising notes for a general practice clinic, a carer and also a job that involves door-door canvassing. Being a carer has opened my eyes to how lucky I am. To be able to spend 23 years of my life being healthy and have the ability to make informed choices... I feel content. My heart goes out to those I cared for during my 10 hour midnight shifts. I was extremely tired and Yi Wei without sleep at night is a MIRACLE! Yi Wei sweeping and moping the floor and doing laundry is MIRACLE MIRACLE!!! That is because Yi Wei sleeps all the time!! Standing, in classes and even in clinics... Regardless of how tired I was, I believe that I took this job for a reason. At first was the lack of financial support. I wanted to help my parents who are now supporting me with the huge fees so I decided to work since I am relatively free now. However, this working experience gave me more than just money. I now realise how true it is that money cannot buy everything. Some of these special people do not have the ability to choose what they want to do or where they want to go.. Some cannot dress themselves properly, some cannot close their mouth and some cannot stop having tremors. It just makes us think about how lucky we are. Having 23 years of life surrounded by my family members who were always so supportive and many wonderful friends... Sob sob... Anyway, I chose this job with the sole intention of earning money and possibly to help me in the future with a better CV... I got more than what I asked for. A contented Yi Wei

I also got offered an academic post in Aberdeen. So that is me settled. I can't wait to work and I am so glad I got this post. I took almost two years to feel really comfortable here and I am definitely not ready to go somewhere new and start all over again. I got the offer the very same day after my interview. I was elated!! Not trying to "aksyen" here ler.. It just means so much to me. I had my share of disappointments. Not getting offered the universities I chose in UCAS, or even getting a provisional offer from my favourite medical school but yet did not have enough money to go there... So this means a lot to me...People tend to appreciate something better when they had once lost it...


What else? I have been partying every now and then. I am very very happy with my life right now. Working hard during the weekdays and party hard during the weekends. lolz... I took this whole week off, just to have more fun!!! So, this week there are parties to go for everyday except for Wednesday.. Will probably meet up with a dear friend of mine then since she is only free then... So this whole week is packed!! Oh, I think I will try to work this weekend.. And I'm going BRUSSELS next week!!! Hooray!!! Life is GREAT!!!

Oh, and I had a great Christmas house party last week. It was amazing, having a large turkey and so much food and WINE!!! Everyone was just sitting around 3 long tables and just chatting away..even with people that they did not know... lolz... It felt so warm and cosy, similar to the feeling you get at family gatherings...with people of all ages and from different professions just gathered under one roof to celebrate the occasion. We played a SPANKING game too... lolz.. Just spank someone's butt, and that person is suppose to guess..Was a lot of fun.. Appreciated every minute of it

That's all for now.. Will update more soon!!

My lovely sister's wedding...

Mah gorgeous sister walking down the stairs!!!




Me getting ANG PAU!!!



Me walking down the aisle quickly... notice the second bridesmaid is not seen??



Yi Wei sob sob-ing...



The wedding ceremony in church...So touching...




Random picture of Brownie with his hair nicely tied!!!



Picture of me, my cousin and my aunt..



Mah pretty sis and my brother-in-law...



Picture of aunty Yi Wei, brother, the bride and the groom

In the world of facebook-ing....

2005 Miami U. Cheezies a cappella: Facebook Song

My baby is unwell.....

Teddy is not feeling well....
Please pray for him....
Please pray that he'll be well again....
Thank you........

I'm back~!!!

3 months since my last update...
I have so much to tell... about my busy 1 month holiday, bringing my two dear friends from Scotland and Ireland around Malaysia. How we went from Penang to Genting to Kuala Lumpur then to Redang Island. It all seemed so long ago!!!
Also, about my elective... and my sister's wedding of course...
All the significant events of my life... my sister's wedding!!!! my goodness!!!! My sister is a MRS!!!!!!!!!! AAArrrgghhh... So scaaarry!!!! lolz... Anyway, despite that, she still means sooo much to me... muax muax....

Let's start off with my sister's wedding...
I was the bridesmaid!!! lolz... I was the leader of the team that "kenakan" the guys kau-kau...Sorry for the language.. Couldn't find a better illustration of what I was doing. Apparently the tasks that we gave the bestman were too easy. Sigh.. Minus points for Yi Wei... This was what happened that day

The "chi muis" asked for a volunteer. That guy was made to wear a disposable panties and a red bra with an angel at the bottom left of left cup. Then we asked another guy to stand as still as possible. The first guy would have to dance around the second guy, pretending that he was pole-dancing... lolz
Very sporting ler.... So that task was done easily, without any fuss

Then they entered the main door

Second station required 4 volunteers and each of them were made to drink something. We blended bitter gourd for the first cup. Cider and some vinegar for the second. Pure lemon juice for the third and finally a super concentrated orange cordial juice. I know, i know... it's not exciting enough... Minus two points for Yi Wei

Oh, I forgot...this station also required another 2 volunteers, in which the "sisters" kindly took out their wax sticker and place on their preferred shin. We were nice enough to let them choose which leg they prefer to have a patch of hairless leg...lolz... that was fun... One point for Yi Wei!!!

Now, they all passed the stations easily and within 10 minutes they were outside my sister's room. With the help of my smart smart cousin ( 2 points for her), I asked the groom to sing a song about my sister's feet, elbow and hmmmmm something.... I can't remember... was it her nose?? But you get the idea anyway. And he had to gesture when he sings too. That was really fun... But obviously, not everything went smoothly this time. We had a talented friend who can play all instruments and he was asked to tune the guitar... Our friend, being a good samaritan, tuned the guitar and *tenggg* one of the string broke. lolz.. (Minus 2 points for JY).. Anyway, the groom played a pretty nice song anyway and he passsed that round. Obviously, not before he handed us a packet of Ang pau... lolz (1 point for Yi Wei)


Then both of them went down for tea ceremony. And proceeded to the guy's place. Another tea ceremony. And finally the church...

The ceremony was amazing!!! COWABANGA!!! I don't know if that's right. Anyway, I was the first to walk down the aisle as the music was played. Typical Yi Wei got a bit paranoid feeling that she was walking too slow, she started to walk fast fast with big big steps... (minus 2 points for Yi Wei) The distance between me and the other bridesmaid was so huge and the distance between her and my sis was so small... Sigh... Not good not good...
The good thing is I arrived at the front really early and can see my sister and dad walking down the aisle. Sob sob... That was moment.... the moment I couldn't stop crying... my goodness!!! So embarassing ler... Cry cry cry.... (minus 3 points for Yi Wei) I gathered myself and tried not to cry anymore. Then they sang a few songs... and they were really touching.. and once again... tears rolled down my face ( minus 4 points for Yi Wei for not learning her lessons) Anyway, the ceremony was ended with the pastor pronouncng them Mr and Mrs Y... lolz.. So sweet.. Then we had photo session before we headed home.

Dinner was at Smokehouse. Yi Wei sang.. horribly... hmmmmm..... She had a duet with JY, and .... *croak croak*... The guy was really good ler... Give him credit for that. But the girl.. good try...:P.. The best part was, though it was sung horribly, the audience seemed not to mind the sound pollution and asked for an encore. Lolz... I didn't bribe them... No no.. I just asked them to do that so that I can feel like a good singer.. So it was all part of the plan. Not because it was good...

Then the next day was a quiet one. We had chinese dinner and that was the end of the whole wedding...I was left sleeping alone on the big bed...... all by myself... Sob sob... No one to talk to before I fall asleep.. No one to steal blanket from... Sob sob..

It was really tiring for me because I had to rush to finish my elective and had to help my sister. I admit that I wasn't much help as I was really really busy doing my elective... Sob sob.. But it was all worth it.. It was a good memory and I will never forget it.

The Return of Teddy!!!!

Teddy is BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!

WAhahahaah...

**Rewind**

I spent the whole morning printing out posters of a missing dog
I spoke to some of my friends and one of them asked for more details to help send out emails to his friends. In hope that by spreading the words and his picture, Teddy will be returned to us by some kind soul who found him. Thanks L
I was looking through Teddy's pictures while feeling really depressed
I did not eat anything this morning merely because I lost my appetite or rather, I felt quite unwell ( might be because of the frantic search for Teddy in the rain last night )
Just as I was printing, brother sent me a message asking me to print out flyers and those who find him will be rewarded (What coincidence!!! I was just doing that as I got the message)
I also talked to sister through MSN, and she was extremely upset too
I was not the only one crying last night... I heard my sister *sob* *sob* through the night too...
Everyone was extremely upset while mum and dad remain their calmness and even managed to crack a joke that none of us could appreciate... not at that moment...

Joke 1: Teddy might have been caught by some people who enjoy eating dogs. He might be in a curry dish now, being ready to be served...Teddy is so fat, they must be able to prepare a scrumptious dish...
Ummmmmmm.... Sister and I just exchanged glances

Anyway, it was at about 2.00pm
Mum and I were lying on the couch, watching TV
We almost gave up hope because it had almost been 22 hours and Teddy was still no where to be seen
Just as we were deep in our thoughts, we heard barking sounds.
That stirred all of us from our comfortable lazy chair... that includes Brownie (who was lying on the floor right next to us)
*Wharf* *Wharf*
All three of us rushed downstairs and I opened the wooden door
There he was, a familiar looking dog jumped right into my arms
I was soooooooo happy...
I think that is an understatement... I was just... speechless...
He looked so dirty...but still our Teddy...
He hopped and run around mum and I
We were all soooo happy... all except for Brownie.. I think he dislike the attention Teddy was having

Anyway, mum called father...
Father : He's back!!! Oh no!! He must be really hungry!!! Give him some food ( Dad is the one who's in charge of Teddy's daily food supply)

I called sister
Sister: He's back??!! I want to see him!! Come to my working place and fetch me home to see him....
And that was what we did... just so, she could have a look at our baby boy...

Sister called brother
Ummm... I don't know what he said.. lolz... surely he was excited as well

So, that was the dramatic return of our TEDDY!!!!!!!! Love him sooo much... He was so tired and hungry... lolz.. We all wonder where he went... Here are the two most possible postulations...

1. Somebody nice saw him in the rain, and being the nice soul that he/she is, he/she decided to take him in and release him the next day when the weather is a lot better

2. Somebody nasty wanted puppies... and seeing beautiful Teddy wondering around aimlessly, he/she decided to catch him and force him to mate with their dog or dogs... We even have our suspects in mind.... Poor Teddy... No wonder he was so tired


Anyway, as long as he is back safely, nothing matters anymore

Thanks ppl!!! For the prayers and also the attempts to make me feel better!!
Really appreciate it... lolz

Teddy, where are you??

I am feeling very depressed......

Teddy went missing yesterday at 4.30pm
My brother, sister and her fiance, and I searched everywhere but he was no where to be found
I called the SPCA/DBKL this morning, eventhough I know my chances are slim (since it was Sunday yesterday)... He wasn't there

Teddy where are you??




This is a picture of Teddy
He is a part our family for 8 years now. If anyone happens to see him, please let me know...
He lost his tag few days ago while he was out for a walk.
He usually comes home after a while and doesn't go far from our house compartment
However, this time around, it was raining... he might have wondered around too far and now, he doesn't know how to come home or he might be locked somewhere by someone....
He must be really cold and scared out in the dark, in a place unfamiliar to him....
I really hope he is alright....


Now, I have only Brownie to pat when I wake up.
I have nobody to greet me when I come home.....

Teddy........ I miss you sooo much......
Sob... Sob...

Get Well Soon....

We may not be the closest as I am not around for most gatherings
My memory of you is the boy who had eczema
I can remember how you itched and how your skin dried
That still did not stop you from feeling itchy and agitated
Seeing you this way makes all our hearts ache


You were sick many times
You fought bravely and won each battle
For most battles I was not around and failed to see how strong you were
However, I heard lots about it
And I am nothing but proud of you


You have always been a strong boy
You never complained about anything that happened to you
You are so young yet full of spirit
I remember you were singing during the Christmas dinner with so much enthusiasm


Now, you are sick once again
Seeing you so ill is painful
Please gather all your strength and fight this


Tears were collecting in my eyes but I refused to let it roll down my cheeks
I shall not cry, not here, not now
I will cry for happiness later
When you are better
When you once again win the battle


Here, I wish you the best
Your parents must have been tired
Yet when I see them, they remain as calm as ever
They too, believe you can do it
You can be absolutely well again


So now, I will pray for you.
My family will pray for you
You also have your friends and neighbours who care about you


We all love you dearly
So take care now
Hopefully the next time I see you, you will be much better..

Home Sweet Home

I Passed!!!!!!


Aiyo... Damn scary ler...
Thanks for all the prayers, sms and emails..
I passed!!! lolzz....

Waiting for the results was pure torture.
They emailed us on Monday with the title Exams Results
When I open the mail, it was to tell us that it will be postponed for a day.
One day seemed like forever. I waited with so much anxiety
Anyway, that's the past....
I am just glad now....
Sorry people!!! I did not contact anyone because I was not sure how long I will be here for
Now I'm sure... It will be 3 months!!!
3 whole months!!! How cool is that??
So don't scold me k?? I was just afraid??

Anyway, just 5 days, and I have eaten more than what I had for the last one month
I ate Setapak's lala... Which was extremely good... as usual.. though, the price had gone up.. So I no longer know if it is worth it... Sigh

Oh, oh, oh... biggest update people!!! Setapak is no longer a PADDY FIELD or KAMPUNG k???
Got STEVENS CORNER!!! Got a lot of other happening stuff k?? My goodness.. It has changed so much... It is almost unbelievable...They "chop chop" so many trees and now the place looks so clear. Unlike before, it was quite dark and dodgy... lolz

On another note, Teddy is still as cute as ever.. Love him soooooooooooo much...
Brownie..... still as ugly as ever.. but still cute in his own way... and I still love him...

Crazy sis is still as crazy as ever... Who in the world would wake up and shout "RISE AND SHINE!!" Well, that's my sister...

Anyway, it's great to be at home.. all the love.. the love that can only be provided by your family.. lolzz....

My next plan: EAT and SLEEP!!!

Exams over...

Exams over...

I am packing
There is just so much to do
This coming Saturday, I will no longer be a member of the Fatflat..
I have been staying here for more than a year now
I am definitely going to miss it.. miss them...
Them who??? lol

Shalini - the girl I always disturb. I bug her with all my problems and she will always be there for me. We share many things; especially on our thoughts about guys. lol... She will knock on my room when I am grumpy to give me chocs.. So sweet.. like a big sister to me..Always there to give me TLC (tender, loving care)... She even dreams about me all the time.. How cool can that be?? I think she must have had too much of me!! lolz.. Therefore, not surprisingly, she warned me today. She told me that she would not like to hear from me in Malaysia, she needs to be away from me for these 3 months.. lol.. How is that possible??? I will definitely kacau u ler.. no peace, girl.. that's what happens when you know me.. I am a PARASITE!!! Thank you so much for all you've done... You've been a great housemate...

Adeline - She is my other crazy housemate. She was the one who encouraged me to start blogging and gave me tips on how to blog. She always has one problem, and we've been all trying to solve it for her for this whole year but still in vain.. Don't worry Adeline, I am sure it will be solved next year!!! Oh, another thing... I remember Adeline and her poor cooking skills when she first came.. lolzz... but now, my goodness!!! I think she is better than any of us in the Fatflat.. Good job, good job!!! Definitely a wife material...lolzzz...

Herbert - He is the comp whiz in the whole of Spring Garden. He helped me with my laptop several times and will always be able to sort my comp problems. Amazing!! He is also the one who keeps check on our bills... very very efficient..

Samuel Chacko George - This guy.. lol... His hair... Aiyo... Other than that, he's been an amazing housemate. He pulled me through tough times. He was there when I was upset and he was also there, to make me upset. He is basically everywhere. He may be annoying at times, but I do not think I should blame him.. That is just him.. He has his special abilities to get my blood pressure raised to 140/90 mmHg.. lolz... Despite all that, he had been the closest friend to me... Someone I feel so comfortable with, someone I can talk to and share most things.. lolz
Thank you so much for showing so much care and helping me through so many things..

I will miss the Fatflat!!! You people have been great.. :p.. Don't worry, although I won't be staying here anymore, I will still come back to haunt all of u.. lolz... Adeline offered me to stay in her room on a sleeping bag and Shal offered me to sleep on the same bed as her... I shall document this here... So now, you can't say I remembered wrongly... It is in black and white!!!


Sniff.. sniff...I will miss all of you dearly. I will TRY to remember the movies we watched together in the Fatflat Kitchen!!! You should know me better by now how short term my memory is.. Those quality times, though not often, would always be with me. Laughter and tears.. hmmm I think I was the only shedding tears most of the time... Wait a minute... I remember now.. lolz.. We all did... Tee hee hee.. I remember...





I stumbled across many things
Things that were given to me, I always kept safely
That is how I was since young.
I never like to throw things away because everything seems to carry a meaningful thought
Looking through each one of them is like reminiscing what had happened the last one year
I guess I have to keep these things to trigger my mind as to what had happened
I tend to remember the bad and fail to remember the good times
It is not like I do it on purpose, it just seems like I have selective memory
Though just a year in my life
So much had happened; the ups and the downs..
Most of it is related to my social life I would say.
I have learnt so much this year and hopefully I will be smarter next year.. lolz
Always strive to be wiser... Though I am always far from it

People come in and out of my life
I appreciate the encounter and mourn that sometimes friendship is lost in the midst of a chase for something that in the end, does not work out
It is funny how close you can be with someone and the next day, everything is gone
Many times it is only me to blame
I am the reason for the break of our friendship
I have always been the source of unhapinness
And I am very very sorry about that
I hope one day, maybe one day... we will be good friends once again...

And to XZ: Thank you for looking out for me this whole year. I am more than grateful to have such a good friend. You had been there all the time. Thank you so much. I hope we would always remain as good friends..:P

Surprise!!!!

Shalini knocked on my door 2 minutes ago
She stood there with one packet of curry flavoured Maggi Mee
She looked at me and smiled...and she gave me the Maggi Mee
MAGGI MEE!!!!
YEY!!!

Sorry ppl... Small things like that are worth being happy for..
It IS exam period..
Do pardon me... lol

Happy

It was a good call to go out yesterday
I felt horrible before the outing
3 out of 4 papers I failed to do well, or rather, enough for me to feel secure
I had great fun last night with some great people and feel a lot better now

I was rather shocked when I first got into the house
However, I picked up the signs quickly
They are together now!!!
See, I was swamped with guilt for so long
Hoping that he was alright all the time but never had the courage to ask
I did not know if it is right for me to even ask because he might not want to hear from me at all
And I do not blame him for that
But now....
He is happy... happy with someone that loves him so much
And I am absolutely glad
Very, very happy for them
The guilt is still there, and has not gone, but to see him happy is a great gift!
A gift that is more than what I can ask for

I am so happy now

I am geared to do well for my OSCE.
I have to pass all the stations...
It is not going to be easy, but I am more focused now, and hopefully I will do well

Thank you so much for those who prayed for me
All the texts and time spent talking to me through things.

I am alright now
I will work hard for OSCE.. So you don't need to worry about me..
lol....

Exams...

This is one of the most important exams in my medical life..
I just need to pass this..
Yet it seems almost impossible..
I thought about the marks I got last year... It was extremely disappointing...
Never in my life I got that sort of marks..
It was at the other extreme end of a normal distribution graph...
I could only blame myself for not studying enough...


This time around, I studied...
I studied as much as I possibly can.
Probably not as much as the others, but I definitely put in effort..
I just want to pass...
I NEED to pass....

That's all I need...
That is all I hope for..
Last two days, yi wei....
Ganbatte!!!!

I am a horrible, horrible person.....

I cannot remember when it was last I felt so bad
There must have been quite a number of occasions..
But at least most of them were due to pure stupidity
Most of them deal with day to day life
Things that go wrong and you just blame it on life's circumstances...
But this.........
I feel so horrible.....
How could I possibly have done it?
Lied right to her face?
She knew I was lying, I could see it in her eyes..
I could even feel myself looking uncertain when I tried to come up with something..
I tried to look deep into her eyes but I could not
I ended up staring at the paper I was holding...
Some people told me that I was bad at lying..
But I should not have to lie in the first place..
Why Yi Wei??? WHY???!!!!!!!!!
I did talk to the lady earlier, but I just could not remember the details because I did not jot it down. That was a week ago now...
That is not an excuse... I knew then that I did not know what was going on...
I had a tutorial to go to...but I should have gone to the ward again to sort the story out..
I did not...
I lied
I tried to create a story that wasn't there
I lied..... I lied......
And she knew I was lying...
I made up a history.......
I am sorry..

Food!!! I love food... There were 10 dishes - 2 dishes of stir fried vege (pak choy and kangkung), 2 dishes of roast duck, 2 dishes of chicken cooked in different Malaysian chinese style, barbecue pork ribs, their tauhu speciality dish, ?veal and FISH!!!!... Oh, there were 10 of us ler...




We went to the Cavern Club where many famous bands once played before they got famous. The band that was playing when we were there was really good... Loved it... Nice environment too... Had couple of drinks there (was forced to drink by Gee)



This is the Cavern Club's Wall of Fame.. These are the names of people who once played there... Oasis mou?!!




Go to Liverpool of course must visit their Liverpool FC store ler... No other particular reason.. It IS the main attraction for football fans...



That's their Chinatown.... According to Gee, it's one of the biggest in the whole of UK... Dunno if he's for real..maybe he syok sendiri only... As usual ler.. Nothing new...






Drinking again!! Was forced... Hiihih... all the drinking was before the great dinner we had (the first pic).
We went home after dinner and resumed drinking... Then Gee brought us to a club but was declined entree because he was wearing his trainers... HAhaha... Then we went club hopping... Was great fun...




Nothing has changed about Gee.. Still the same old gila person as before... Anyway, thanks for having us there.... :p

Yey!!

Hey hey!!!!
I assisted in a spontaneous delivery...
Mother is so pretty
Her relationship with her partner is so sweet
The baby is so pretty
I am soo happy..
and so tired...
and I got my book signed... ;p
After this, I am not sure if I want a spontaneous one or should I just opt for C-section...

My Teddy Baby...

I miss you soooo much, Teddy!!!! *Hugzzzz

Take That - How deep is your love - live 2006

One of my all-time favourites...

I remember my cousin's husband-to-be at that time sang this song to her during their wedding day. Obviously he was not the only one singing. There were 3 of them, the other two were his best men. They had their glasses on and they sang whole heartedly with gestures and full of expression. It was rather….well... out-of-tune... But who cares!!!!
It was soooooo sweet...

It has been a few years now and soon, it is my own sister's wedding. I do not know what my exact feelings were when I first heard the news. I was definitely very excited
However, when the news slowly sank into my puny ( sure kena zhat for this.. though small, I am still the smartest k??) brain, I felt as though situation had threatened the relationship between me and my sister. I was afraid that our relationship will not be as strong. I would not be the first person she would turn to anymore… not when she has her own husband.

We were close ever since we were young.
She was someone I shared everything with.
She was the nice one while I was the evil one.
I would always bully her and get her into trouble.
I am sorry for all the mistakes I had made before..
I remember pulling her hair
I remember pinning her down onto the bed and sitting on her
I remember shouting at her
I remember lying to her

Despite that, she was always there for me.
Regardless of the situation;
Whether it was one of my glorious moments or when I was down in the dumps
She would still be there for me....
I do not know if you know how much you mean to me...
Even I cannot put it into words

Things might be different, and I am sure they will
You would have a husband whom you would turn to when problems arise
You would have your own room and I would be left in our old room alone
You would have your own life
You would eventually have your own kids and spend most of your time with your own family

But please be sure that
Some things do not change.

I will not change
I will still be there for you
My respect for you will never change
My love for you will never change.
Most importantly, our relationship will never change
That I promise you..
Love you soooo much
And will always do

Thank you so much for all the support you had given me. I know I have the best sister in the world.

Sis

Take That - Shine

Take that mou?!! Weeee.... Love them...

Rank Specialty Score

Saw this KY's blog... I think it is quite true!!!


1 general surgery 46
2 urology 45
3 plastic surgery 45
4 gastroenterology 45
5 general internal med 44
6 allergy & immunology 44
7 otolaryngology 44
8 orthopaedic surgery 43
9 ophthalmology 43
10 neurology 43
11 pulmonology 43
12 dermatology 42
13 neurosurgery 42
14 thoracic surgery 42
15 radiology 42
16 physical med & rehabilitation 41
17 emergency med 41
18 nuclear med 41
19 endocrinology 41
20 cardiology 39
21 hematology 38
22 preventive med 38
23 aerospace med 38
24 pathology 38
25 obstetrics/gynecology 37
26 occupational med 37
27 colon & rectal surgery 37
28 anesthesiology 36
29 family practice 36
30 psychiatry 36
31 nephrology 35
32 radiation oncology 35
33 infectious disease 34
34 med oncology 33
35 rheumatology 33
36 pediatrics 26

Hop.... *Thump!!!

The day starts off awfully
I look out the window
It is cloudy and grey
That does not help much with my mood
I feel like a sloth
Slowly crawling out of my bed
It is times like these when I absolutely despise the fact that my bed is quite high up
I hang my legs down and still could not reach the ground.
Sigh... That is one of the downfalls of being vertically challenged...
I take a deep breath and give it all I've got
I make a little hop
Hop... *Thump
That was me putting on weight.. All the chocolates and sweets in my room are not helping. Stress does not do any good to my eating habit
The whole morning was spent looking at my stagnant computer screen
It is amazing how great I would be if this was a real job
I suppose I can be quite a professional and maybe I would be able to teach people this 'beneficial' skill of mine
No *blink blink... Just eyes wide open and stare...
So that was my morning

At least I had something to look forward to
I participated in a project where we gave out food for the homeless people

I do not think I am as noble as everyone else there
Doing all this with the intention of making people's lives better
I reckon I am doing this because of me, myself
To make me feel better
To make me feel as though I am doing something useful
Or rather, because I have made so many mistakes in the past, inflicting too much pain on people who do not deserve any of it
Maybe, I did it just because I wanted to feel better
To feel as though I had helped
To feel as though I too, can bring joy to people's life

Sorry for being sappy.. That is just how I feel today

However, I have to admit that I definitely feel a lot better after that event.
It feels good....

My first 24h...

Yesterday was the first time I stayed up for 24 hours
Not because of jetlag, clubbing or being busy talking to people.
I was doing something productive...
I was there from 5pm-7am, with a lady who was in pain
Who was struggling every now and then
She took few deep breaths through a tube each time pain decided to pay her a visit
She cried at times when the contractions were too much for her to endure
I checked her stats every half an hour
I checked her living "subject" in her womb every 15 minutes
I was with her during her exciting journey
However, the living "subject" in the womb was too stubborn
He would not budge
He stayed at 9cm for 4 hours
Everyone was concerned for the mother and the "subject"
She finally decided to proceed with the surgery
I assisted and the registrar warned me that it could get quite bloody
I stood there as the surgeon cut the abdomen open
Fluid splattered on all of us with full force (amniotic)
There was an obstruction
Then he cut deeper, and I opened the abdomen as much as possible to assist in the delivery
Before you knew it *ploop*, a baby boy came into the world...
His mother, grand mother and all the other health staff members welcomed him to the world
The day ended with a smile...
Moral of the story : Guys are trouble... :P

The Runaway

I thought I was normal,
I thought I was cool,
I thought I abided by everyones rules...

Now I realize as the time goes by,
I should have thought about everyone else...

For a time they were there,
For a time they all cared,
But then came a time when I just disappeared...

I blocked it all out,
I refused to see,
What I kept all locked up inside of me,
It all seemed so stupid,
It all seemed insane,
But then again I was just the same...

I took it all in and refused to let out,
The frustration inside that would make me bail out,
I didn't think twice about what it would cause,
To me it was over just because...

No other reason,
No answer why,
I didn't care and I didn't know why,
Nothing else mattered,
No one else knew,
But what I was doing could sure make me lose...

I don't know how,
I don't know when,
But one of these years I will win again,
My life is in shambles,
But now I can see,
I'll start to rebuild whats inside of me...

It'll take strength,
It'll take mind,
But whatever it takes I'll be there in time,
I won't be afraid,
I won't be alone,
For whatever it takes I'll learn to condone...

I'll have to move on,
I'll have to get through,
It'll be tough but I'll see my way through,
I've made my mistakes,
Now I know what to do...

I hurt everyone deeply beyond what I knew,
and it was to bad that I bailed out before,
but now I've come home and I'll start to renew,
The love everyone has I put it aside,
But now I'll take part and start to recognize,
All of the love that I've had all along,
Now will come forth and all will be told,
for now i have learned the gift of love and home...


© By Chanda A. Johnson

Studying - Sigh - Jia you!!!

I do not like studying...
Sometimes I wonder why I am in this field..
All the studying that needs to be done...
Like my friend said to me earlier this morning, "It is endless"


Furthermore, with the advancement of technology, things change so quickly
At one point things are a certain way, but 10 years down the road, they no longer are

I had a doctor once tell me that most of the things he studied in medical school are so outdated and a lot of them are do not apply now


Look at all the surgeons..
They learnt to cut people up and fix them inside, and then close the wound up
However, the focus is on laparoscopic technique now
Instead of being able to see and touch the structures, they can only see it through a TV screen and use two long sticks to maneuver through the structures in a patient's body.
All the skills they learnt before had not gone to waste, but is used less often
Eventually those skills will fade


I suppose this does not only apply to medicine
It is very much similar to the path each and everyone of us has to walk
We learn things
We forget things that we once learnt
Then we learn new things.. It is the cycle of life... We do not stop learning


However, some things are not as easy to learn as the others.
We can work as hard as we want for our careers
We can create opportunity where there is none
We can work so hard and in years, we will eventually succeed
We reap what we sow


However, when we deal with another human being, we can never learn
This is because it concerns two people with two different minds
It is difficult to build a friendship
It is more difficult to build a relationship
We can never learn because it involves different people

No one person is the same
No one person feels the same way
No one person thinks the same way
So it is impossible to use our past experiences with someone new
All we can do is just use a general guide and improvise as we go along
We can get to know this new person
We can learn from our experiences with this new person
However, even with that, success is not guaranteed...
Because people do change


Medicine is definitely a very difficult course
Facts are constantly changing and we have to always keep in tip top condition
We always have to be alert and proactive to learn as much as we can

Despite my dislike of studying, I find this job very gratifying
I know I am just a student, but I have a strong feeling that I will love this job
I already love being in the wards
Talking to different people and learning about their lives
Even at this very moment when I have no authority to treat them
I am happy enough
I am happy enough to be in this course
Happy enough to have made it this far
All I can hope is that I can make it further
With that I need to pass this exam..
God bless..

A very nice day...

Today has been a great day.
Sarah asked us to go out hiking and for a picnic with her friends.
Sam and I decided that we would tag along.
I met one of the nicest people today.
There was a dad of two, a 5 year old kid and a 7 year old kid
The two kids were soooooooooooo adorable.
Really, really, really cute...
Maybe the fact that their dad is an Ang Moh and their mother is Punjabi.
And they are both handsome and gorgeous respectively
The dad followed us along with the two kids while their mother stayed at home because she is now pregnant
Dad had a saber fight with his son. His son tapped the saber onto his leg. Dad started limping pretending that his leg was really sore. He limped but the fight continued. It was just so adorable. There was so much love between the father and his sons
It makes me want to have my own children
Small 'yiwei' running around... Jumping up and down, throwing tantrums, making so much noise, asking stupid questions.. No.. No.. That'll be nightmare.. Small 'yiwei' is a menace
Met Ed. He was the one who got the fire going. Good job, Ed. The fire was definitely handy when it got a lot colder.
Had a good chat with another new friend, Kate. She told me about her trip to Thailand
Apart from that, there was Sarah, of course and Ruth
We all had good banter
It was really goood fun. We hiked about 200m and made ourselves some hot chocolate, crisps and brownies!!!
I was so happy to have met all of these people. As we gathered around the fire to warm ourselves, they said prayers. These people were so sincere and they prayed for everyone that they knew who were not in the best situations. Even people whom they just met yesterday. I was really touched by that.


Just before I end this entry, something happened this morning and it definitely taught me a lesson.

I went to the antenatal clinic with Sam in the afternoon. I was supposed to sit in with the consultant tomorrow and I just needed to know if the clinic was on. I saw a nurse passing by. I stopped her and said,

Yi Wei: Hello there.. I was just wondering if the antenatal clinic will be on tomorrow
Nurse : Looking at me and paused for a while
Ummm... May I know if this is for you or is it for your friend?
Yi Wei: Ummm... No no.. You are mistaken. I am not a patient. I am a 4th year
medical student. I am suppose to be in the antenatal clinic
Nurse : She let go a sigh and said... Oh I see...

Moral of the story :

1. Always.. Always and Always.. remember to introduce yourself first before asking any questions..
   
2. I definitely look pretty old. Usually they wouldn't even have thought that I already had my menarche

My Girl [OST] - 사랑은 힘든가봐 (Sarang Eun Him Deun Ga Bwa)

I think this guy looks a little like Justin...

Should we be nice??

We all want to be the best person that we can.
We were all taught well by our parents
They tried their best to mould us into someone "different".
Someone great.
Someone they can be proud of
And someone that they can tell their friends about.

I realised that not everyone had that great opportunity.
Some had lost a parent while some had lost both;
Along the way or even from the very beginning.
Some had not been given enough love
While some have had bad experiences during their childhood.

Above it all, we all have one goal
We are all STILL thriving to be best that we can be in every aspect of life.

I used to be taught to be cautious when I was younger.
I got into a huge mess because I spoke too freely.
It involved all parties including my friends.
I was warned and I realised from then on I should be more careful when I speak

It must be the competitive life I once had.
Things that were said among my colleagues were sometimes doubtful.
I am not judging anyone, because I am the same, if not worse.

After I left that sort of life, I learnt how to be more trusting
I learnt how to tell the truth.
To respect people
To give them the benefit of the doubt
Because everyone deserves a chance to be trusted
Because everyone deserves a chance to correct the mistakes that were once made

As years passed, I met more and more people.
Life is getting more and more complicated again

Everything that you do is being watched
Every mistake that you make will be remembered and be talked about
Every good deed that you do will be remembered but NOT talked about
People tend to remember the bad and disregard the good
People tend to believe what others think about that person
Even when they do not want to do so
We have to admit we DO get affected by the gossip that goes around
Do not feel bad
It is only human to judge people when we see or hear things about them
Everyone analyses and sadly, most of the time we are influenced by our peers

I realise that we cannot change how people perceive us
I realise we cannot always get affected by what people say
I realise we have to understand that not everyone is sensitive
I also realise that not everyone admires sensitivity


Know that it is alright not to be nice all the time
We are only human, and we make mistakes
Know that if we were judged wrongly at the first impression
We should try to better ourselves
Know that if we were judged wrongly the second time
We should try harder to better ourselves
Know that if they continue letting the past judge you
We should just better ourselves without hoping for them to change their perception
But remember, do NOT at any one point feel inadequate
Because we are only human


I always want to be at my best in all circumstances
I try hard to be someone nice.
Someone who is well liked
It takes a lot of effort in an unknown land
Maybe I am just not ‘naturally’ nice

Many times it drains me seeing the effort unbalanced by appreciation
Many times I would want to give up trying
Many times I feel that all the trouble is not worth it

But many times I was proven wrong
I have always been blessed with the presence of good company
I may have people not liking me
But I still have some close friends who are there
People that I know would stick by me through thick and thin
People who care about what is going on in my life
People who care to call or to message
People who spare a moment to think about me
Those are the people I live for
Because, at the end of the day, it is not about how many acquaintances u have
But it is about how many true friends you have

All in all
Do not stop being nice because some people do not appreciate it
You might one day change someone’s life just by being nice
A few kind words is all it takes
A little time spent for a friend is all it takes

Thank you for being that friend of mine
For being there
For the kind words
And for sparing those precious time of yours
I appreciate it all

Thank you...

P/S : This is just a token of my appreciation to all my friends who have been there for me. Names need not be mentioned. Surely, you know who you are... :P

游鴻明 - 樓下那個女人

Lian Shang Ling Yi Ge Ren - You Hong Ming

Him again... Not as cute as Jay Chou ler :p But still damn good...

Di Yi Qian Ge Zuo Ye

I think he is second best after Jay Chou!!!

MADtv - Grey's Anatomy / House M.D. Crossover Parody

This is sooo funny , people... Enjoy... Wahahha...

My birthday celebration...

It was indeed one of the best celebrations ever...
I spent the whole day with S. We did not do anything fancy but the company was all it took to make my day. Went prezzie shopping in the morning. S got me something really nice. Then we went for lunch in Jimmy Chung's. The food was quite good. Later in the evening, we went to Victoria park to have a wee walk (accompanied by Coca Cola :p)How much greater can it get..
We then went for coffee in the Monkey House.. I really like that place.. Not because I am a monkey or anything.. The ambience and the coffee.. My goodness.. the mocha was amazing.. Then we went for a couple of pool games.. Lost to S, 1-5 in just an hour.. I was really rubbish.. Not to say that he is really good or anything.. I think he was just lucky.. I potted the white ball after potting the black, also potted the black in the middle of the game.. sigh... think I am not skillful enough ler.. Maybe I shall retire from playing pool..
We rushed home because we were suppose to go to Five for dinner. S made reservation at 8.40pm. I was told to hurry and I quickly went home to change. S knocked on my room and told me that Shal baked me a cake. I went to the kitchen and there were so many people there. They sang the birthday song and I stood there, looking at everyone *blink blink... And just remained speechless for a moment..
All 10 juniors , my housemates, some seniors, one engineer and some of our batchmates were just looking at me.. they too, *blink blink...Then , I said, "Thank you, Thank you", in my usually mengada way...That broke the silence... A bit dramatic ler.. This is a blog.. hahhahaha..

Shalini did the most things, I was told.. She ACTUALLY cleaned the kitchen and placed the table in the corner and nicely arranged packets of crisps on it. Not only that.. She BAKED me a very very very nice cake... Sob sob... So touched ler.. She wasn't proud of her cake though, but she somehow kept reminding me that she arranged the packets of crisps on the table.. I guess that must be one of those things she doesn't do all that often.. or not at all... Yey!! *applause *applause

Adeline and A made sandwiches for everyone... Bravo...

Shal and Adeline got me Oceanus products!!

Herbert blew the balloons and decorated the kitchen. He got me 1.5L wine. It was really nice. Thank you very much

The seniors: YK, WM, TH, YS - Thank you so much for coming. YS made a very nice chicken dish.:P

The juniors : All ten of them came. BH made some garlic chicken.. And it tasted really good too. Thank you so much for making the effort to come.
Jason came too. Thanks for coming. And thanks for your Body Shop products prezzie!!

Sarah's presence was a surprise!!! She did not stay for long because she needed to get to work. Thank you for your body shimmer lotion. And I appreciate it so much that you came.

HS, NJ, JH, E and M are people from our year.. Thanks for coming too!! Thanks for bringing food.. and also SS, A, and SM, thanks for the ice cream that all 3 of u made. It was really nice...

Apart from that, I went out the day before with a friend of mine, S. Thank you so much for the nice lunch and the prezzie.. It is really beautiful

Also, my family... Thanks for the prezzies too.. They were really beautiful

Last but not least, thank you, Sam. I know you put in a lot of effort and I really enjoyed yesterday. I do not think I could ask for more. It was definitely one of the best birthdays I have ever had.. And one thing for sure.. You definitely lie very well.. Keeping a straight face the whole day.. You definitely succeeded in fooling me.. But I really appreciate everything...

And to everyone who was not around... thank you so much for all the messages that was left on friendster, all the smses, all the calls, those who wished me in my yak yak board and also all the emails.. Thank you so much... It would have been nice to have all of u here...


If u realised.. The prezzies I got yesterday seemed to be perfume, body shampoo, moisturiser, feet scrub and all the shower thingy.. I think I must be quite stinky because everyone seems to feel the same way about me. Getting me something that I could use to make me smell good.. I will use them k? Hopefully next time I won't be so stinky anymore..
hahahah...

To all my friends, near and far....
Thank you so much for being such a great friend to me. Different people were there at different times of my life. There is no one person that was there for me throughout my life (of course ler...oh, except for my family). However, I just wanna let all of you know that even in that short period of time we got to know each other, I appreciate what we had. Each moment spent will be cherished forever. Thanks for being there for me when I needed someone most
Anyway, all I want to say is, I feel like the luckiest person in the world to have great friends like all of u..

love ya all sooooooo much!!!
Thank you everyone for making yesterday such a memorable day!!!

Yesterday's dinner....

Holidays!!!!

It has been a long 4 months without any breaks. We will now have 1 week ?? EASTER break when everyone else has finished theirs. Oh well, weird university for weird people.. and yes, that includes all of you in the Fat Flat... It has been about 2 weeks since the arrival of the 10 juniors from IMU. They all seem so fresh and happy-go-lucky... I wonder if I was like that when I first came. I mean I always try to potray myself as someone who is happy all the time because I think that it is quite rude to show people your anger and resentment because they are purely innocent (unless it is the person who pissed you off in the first place.. that will be quite legitimate). Nobody deserves that. But as 1 year has passed, I seem to care less about these things and have become more and more insensitive. I do not think it is a good thing but I was once told that I was too sensitive. I suppose this past year was definitely one of the toughest that I had gone through. Thankfully I survived. Anyway, I got side-tracked. What I meant to say is that, I felt rather old. It has been a year and now I am called a senior... Gee Wee... I am called SENIOR??? hahahaha... I am definitely not used to that... Had always been one of the youngest in everything that I did..If the juniors call us seniors, then we can call our seniors, ancestors.. That also means that in a years time, I will be their ancestor.. Wow!! I bet I will be wiser next year too!!Waahhaha....

Anyway, we have 1 week holiday!!! YEY!!!! ummmmm... but what am I gonna do??

Greys Anatomy - Chasing Cars

Love this song so much.... Most likely due to the series ler...

Exams

Studying for exams has become a very big chore for me. It is especially disappointing when you try so hard, and yet when you try to do a few questions, it is proven that you do not know anything at all. Sigh... This coming exam should be one of the toughest exams that I ever had. And I am quite doubtful about it... I used to like to think that I am quite smart. I whisked through primary school with good results and being hardly in school at all in secondary years, I managed reasonably well. Not the full straight A's most of my colleagues had, but definitely enough to make my parents proud of me. A-levels was probably the best time I had in my life.. good company, relaxing and also it was then that I realised how much I missed studying.. It is amazing how little I knew when I first started.. My Physics, Chemistry and Biology were all quite hopeless but with the guidance of great teachers and friends, I managed to do extremely well.. Then came IMU... Studying was turning into a chore.. all the memorising, understanding and the whole broad spectrum of diseases that I had to learn just dampened my spirit. I no longer enjoy the process of studying like I used to in A-levels ( though short, still very memorable). Luckily, I still managed well... I thought that was the hardest.... Apparently, I was so wrong... I cannot remember the last time I felt so stupid.. In Aberdeen, I am now in my 4th year and I would have to agree that I learnt a lot in the practical side of things.. but when it comes to knowledge, I take time to retrieve information and many times, I might be right but too afraid to speak up, or even worse, when I speak up (bear in mind, it takes a lot for me to speak up in class) I am told that I am wrong.. Sigh... I know it is fine to make mistakes, and that is probably where we learn from.. But to make mistakes after all that hard work.... Arrghh... It is just pure disappointment...Do not get me wrong.. I love medicine.. I cannot imagine myself doing anything else.. But the studying and the many disappointments on the way to the top is just so taxing and I feel that it has finally taken it's toll on me... I want to give up.. Sigh... Sob sob...

Take 3 deep breaths...

Ok, ok... Bad thoughts, bad thoughts!!! Go away!!! I think I should forget about all that nonsense and start studying.. And to all who are going to have exams soon, all the best.. and don't give up... We worked hard to get where we are.. Do not give up half way... We will all work hard towards our goal...And I think I still have 40 days to study....Jia You!!!! Gambatte!!!!

Jia you , yi wei!!! Hihihiihih... Weeeee........ Ok... Gonna go back to studying...

M203 Cheerleading

Dear M203,

I recently saw this videoclip again.. I thought it was really quite good.. A few mistakes here and there, but I would never have expected doctors, who never had any sort of training or experience with dance, cheerleading or any form of performance to be able to perform so well.
Thank you so much for making that moment so special.
Here are the people I would have liked to thank but did not.

Yen Shi - This fellow decided that exams were far too important and ditched me to do the coaching on my own. However, she was as sweet as always as she helped me to choreograph the dance. And that was really important... And also thanks for all the constructive criticism...:p Love ya lots..

Hiang Liang - Thanks a lot for the great music and all the times when you came for the practice just to see how we were getting on. It was really nice of you to spend such a long time with us when the exam was around the corner, and to come up with such a magnificent piece..

Adrian - Thank you sooo much for being there for me at that point of time. I do not think I could have done it without your support. You also helped a lot in coaching everyone.. For this occasion, and also the whole 2 years in IMU, I thank you for all the support. I think we no longer owe each other anything.

Chye Teck - The guy whom I will never imagine taking up this sport... *snicker snicker* But you were definitely one of the most hardworking fellas... Good job..Thank you so much for compilling all the clips to produce such a great movie clip.. I know you had spent hours or days doing it.. And also, thank you so much for rushing it in time to give it to me before I left for Aberdeen...

To all the girls... Chee Shang, Evelyn, Hua Zen, Linda, Nadia, Pei Yee, Priya, Sheena, Sien Hui, Trisha

and

To all the guys - Arvind, Chee Wing, Cheng Hong, Chong Han, En Hsiang, Ken Rhee, Rahman, Shi Ching, TJ, Vassan and Zaiful


In my opinion, this routine would not even qualify to enter any cheerleading competition and perhaps if we did, we might not have won at all. However, this is definitely one of the best performances I have seen and done. It is because of the presence of the greatest people to work with ( easy to say now ler... at that point of time, I was probably complaining about some of u, ekekkekekeke). But it is the journey that we went through together, the practice sessions that we had, the practice session that turned into a karaoke session, the time when I fell on SC, and CT and E's classic fall... All these are the moments that I will remember for life and it were these moments that are the most touching to me... We only had about a month of practice but it was really hard work expecially when exams near... You have no idea how proud I am of all of you... And most importantly, WE WON the IMU Cheerleading competition!!!

Oh, and let's not forget about the crowd... My goodness...You M203 were the BEST crowd ever.. I do not think we could even have done it without all of you.. Thank you sooooo much........

Hope we'll keep in touch and that you are all as proud of it as much as I am. Love ya all sooo much..

Read my visual DNA.. It is quite true!!!

I got this site from KY... Quite cool...

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

I was tagged.... by KY

I was TAGGED by Ho Kah Yee... Not surprising... I do not even know exactly what this is. Anyway, I will stop whining and just tell you 6 weird things about me. :p. Kah Yee is absolutely right, there actually are more than 6. Hahahahha... Oh well.. Here are the points

1. I would classify my forgetfulness as severe. I cannot remember many things and it is as though I have selective memory. I find it hard to remember what I did yesterday and it declines exponentially with the number of days. I can retrieve the information only after struggling for quite a while. I blame that on my sleeping habits. I believe I snore when I sleep ( at least that's what I was told) and that might cause me to have obstructive sleep apnoea. That is my own diagnosis and I think I will stick with that umless someone comes up with a better dignosis. Why that? Well, I noticed that I always sleep during the day. It does not matter whther it is in the clinic, until I almost fell off a chair, or when I was standing in the operating theatre when I saw two images of the consultant and almost lost my balance. Hihihihi...

2. I laugh for no apparent reason or rather, smile to myself when it is inappropriate. I find myself drifting off from a conversation easily and slipping into the world of my own. Words that were used will trigger old fond memories and I would end up lingering in my thoughts

3. I think I have multiple affective disorder. I can be happy in the morning, depressed in the evening and manic at night. It varies day to day. I am generally still quite nice to my friends, but those I know better,I tend to be nastier to them. Maybe because I know you all a lot better ( so, be glad that I show temper in front of you, friend.. Hiihihihi). And thanks for still being there for me despite my horrible temper... I salute my family actually, for putting up with me.. then again, they have no choice... wahhhahhaha...

4. I like to study in my room... not because I need it to be extremely quiet, not because I need to be alone and it is not because it has better feng shui. It is mainly because I sit very awkwardly when I study and I am comfortable that way. Ummm... I do not think I shall describe it, but I would say it is quite barbaric and embarassing if someone was to see.

5. I am diagnosed with hypermotility joints. Basically I have flexible joints. It must be due to 7 years of training or maybe I was already gifted with a small part of it since birth and through training, I made them worse. That was the reason for my back injury as well. Mainly because my muscles are not strong enough to keep up with the hyperextended things I used to do. I do not think this is weird but many do. I am still normal, k?? :p Please do not label me as weird because I have flexible joints... SobSob... ( I think YS and KY will just say that I was born a monkey)... Sob sob... That's not very nice...

6. Last but not least, I myself think that I am weird. Do you think it's weird thinking that you, yourself are weird? Well, I have thought about it a couple of times because many times I do things that I refuse to think I would do or just behave quite oddly. Hmmm... I am not sure if it is abnormal or people do think that way as well... if it is abnormal, then it is weird that I think I am so... If it is normal, then it is weird to think that I am weird thinking that I am weird... So, no matter what, I am still weird... or rather.... confused???

Oh well, that's me... Sorry KY for taking such a long time to reply your tag... hihihi.... I am sure you have lots to say about that...

To the one and only...

I remember when I was younger, I used to argue with her.
I used to call her every night just to tell her about my long day.
I usually felt really tired and upset from training, I ended up arguing with her
She raised her voice and we would yell at each other over the phone
Our relationship was very rocky and I was the only one to be blamed.
But I would have to admit, it was those difficult times that had brought us a lot closer than I would imagine
Even those days I knew that she would stick by me through thick or thin
She would be there for any competition that I would go for to give me moral support.
She would be at the airport everytime I go away for a competition
She made me beautiful leotards that she spent days or months sewing
Sometimes, I felt so pressured to do well, to please her but I realise it was more for myself
She was there to make me realise that I am not alone in that race
Now, I am far away from her
Still in a race, but this time, I am all on my own,
I miss her so dearly, I call her every weekend
She still nags me like before ; wash your clothes, do not be dirty, must clean up your room, be good, study hard, must be lady-like and whole loads of things.
I am sorry I did not tell u the sad or bad things that happen in my life
Just because I know you will get a lot more worried about it than you should
And most of the time, you cannot do much about it but still it would not stop you from staying awake whole night
I am sorry I hid my back injury from you for years,
I am sorry that I always pretend that I am fine even when the fact is I am sick or in absolute agony
I hope you understand that I am not a liar and that you have not failed your responsibility
It is merely because you are most precious to me
And to see you in pain is far greater than what I originally had to endure
But be sure of one thing, I share with you every single happy moment I have in my life
I love you so much, mum...
I know you already know that, just want to strengthen it further..

Better to have loved and lost, than to have not loved at all..

I was sitting in the clinic today. This old lady came in with a history of weight loss. Her GP was worried for her because she was losing weight due to poor appetite. She came in looking quite frail with a walking stick but still managed to be rather independent. Her GP also stated that he was aware that she was still in bereavement for her husband who had just passed away late last year. The consultant asked her if she was coping well. She said she was still trying to cope, although better, she occassionally still dips into depression. When the consultant tried telling her that it is a normal process when you lose somebody you love. She told him that she had a happy 45 years of marriage and that she missed him a lot. She almost broke into tears and I was there feeling so touched but yet could not offer anything. I wanted to hold her hands to let her know that it was alright to feel that way, but how would I know. I have not loved someone that long. 45 years... That is a very long time and no matter how hard I try to imagine how hard it would be, I do not think I would come close unless I experience it myself. She regained herself after a while and tried to compose herself for the remainder of the consultation. I drifted off the second half of the consultation. I thought to myself. Was she unlucky that she lost her husband? Or should she be considered lucky to have been able to experience 45 good years with somebody she loves rather than not be able to find someone at all? What about those who are in search of that "someone" and never succeeded. Just a thought to ponder. Let me know what you all think :P Anyway, I wish her well...

Tribute to a friend....

Although I do not personally know you, it is really sad to hear someone go through what you did. I heard you were strong and I hope you will keep on fighting this battle and maybe one day there will be a miracle. I wish I could help but I am inadequate in every way compared to you. You are already a doctor so you must be a lot smarter than I am. However, I will do what I can. I will pray for you every night and hopefully, just hopefully you will be better one day. Even if what is left is just a short time to live, be strong and appreciate everything that is in front of you. All the best to you, friend.

Success using Ophthalmoscope

Oh.. Another thing... I know this is quite a shock for many but after 4 years of medicine, I finally got to see the optic disc using OPHTHALMOSCOPE!!! How cool is that?? I was so excited and told everyone when I got back... Everyone ( and I mean everyone), gave me a puzzled look and blink a couple of times before they ask, ' You mean, you have not seen it before?'. Hihihih.... Well, I have always tried really hard to see the back of the eye, following every instruction that was given in IMU( follow the blood vesels and they will direct you to the optic disc). But every attempt seemed futile.. Sob..Sob... Anyway, regardless of how silly this sounds, I felt that this was the biggest achievement I have had in my career of medicine... Hooray!!!

Scotia Court...

Staying in a portable cabin, "The Scotia Court" in Inverness is one of the best things, if not the best, that happened to me since I came to Aberdeen. The previous entry is all the random pictures during my stay at the cabin. I am glad that I met such great people there. Thank you so much, Scotians....

There is so much to tell about my days in Scotia.. I will write it down in point form...

1. We played games almost every night. Started off with mini-mini table tennis , then we played card games ( wist, cho dai dee ( we made the Caucasians learn this game... ), heart attack, shit head, and speed )Settlers of Catan, foosball ( thanks to Toby) and a lot more

2. I learnt how to bake from Sarah ( thanks Sarah). Well, people who know me know well enough that I can't bake. The last time I tried baking a chocolate cake with my sis, we ended up with chocolate 'kuih'. Surprisingly, under strict supervision by my friend Sarah, I got to bake quite a nice choc cake. The evidence is in friendster...:P I also helped her bake a carrot cake and brownies. I know it's not much ler... but for me, it's a lot k?? I think I deserve a round of applause...hahahaha

3. 32 of us share 5 shower places. I stay in the East wing and the girls are suppose to shower in the West wing. Being the lazy me, I decided to shower in the guys bathroom. Obviously when the guys saw me walking into their bathroom, they started being doubtful as to whether I was a girl or a guy. Hence there was a song made for specially for me. It is really nice because there was a main vocalist, some of the guys were playing guitar and some were the back up singers. It went something like this.

Yi Wei is a man,
manly man, manly man (background singers)
It's all that she can be
manly man, manly man (background singers)
I say that SERIOUSLY
seriously (background singers)

Hahahahah....By the way, the SERIOUSLY part, is because I always use that word. I am sure everyone knows me and my limited vocabulary has forced me to be quite repetitive.

4. We played futsal and I was the defender. Apparently I did quite a good job. Well, the best part is that we had so much fun. Our team was called Black Panthers and we won the game. We had a great striker, Aisyah, who claimed that this was her second time playing. She is smaller than me and so agile that no one seems to be able to keep up with her. She was just so.... phenomenal!!! Hey, when I think about it, I miss playing futsal in IMU... you girls are the best ler... hihihi... the Malakings... and also the M203 team!!!


5. I played minimini table tennis and got kicked out quite early in the tournament. Managed to bring the semi- finalist to a deuce though. So let's blame it on the fact that I was put against a very good player rather than me being quite shitty in that game.

Studying in Inverness

1. The ophthalmologist told me some random things about macula and I was like ' Oh, I see'. I wanted to show that I know something, so I went on and ask him if that condition he mentioned was like ' macula hole'? ( I just saw that word on the book the other day). Then he said, ' No, that is totally different' . I showed a look of disappointment and the nice consultant told me this, ' Don't worry. Ophthalmology is very difficult. That's why it's only for smart people'. Hihihiih....Zha dou....

2. I made a presentation on ophthalmology. The title at the start of the presentation was Opthalmology Case Study. Then the consultant stopped me politely, ummm... well, just to let you know, the ophthalmology is spelt wrongly. Hihiihihi... However, during the feedback session, he said that the presentation was one of the best he had seen for a long time... hahaha... bangga bangga...

3. Did neurology and the neurologist said that I should become a neurologist... Interesting... Had thought about it before but I think it is too difficult a course for a simple minded person like me... hey wait... I am not simple minded ler... can be quite complicated also... hmmm... Come to think about it, I find this quite interesting. My friend, Yinni is convinced that I have multi-infarct dementia.. Hahahaha... I think it might be quite true too... I usually cannot seem to remember things that I did 2 days ago. I find it really hard to retrieve what was done or who I was with. Always mix things up, and I think I confabulate as well. Not that I am trying to make up stories. It is just that I thought it was true, but apprently I was told that it had never happened before. Weird... Another smart friend of mine, Sufian the Skiver told me that I must have got mixed up between reality and my dream.. Sounds quite profound... Esp. when you said it, Sufian... ahahaha...
Good stuff, Good stuff... Sorry, got side tracked....


4. During the endocrinology block, a specialist registrar gave us a tutorial on thyroid diseases. He asked questions and as usual, I am quiet in class. He prompted me to answer, I gave a him a blank look and then answered him in a lazy manner. Not because I was trying to be rude. It is just becasue I was really tired and it was in the evening. Anyway, I did ask him a couple of questions at the end of his class and he commented that I was finally awake. But only at the end of the class. No climax to the story right?? ahahha... haven't finished ler... anyway, the next day, Sam and Rama ( a very sweet girl) went for his clinic and sat in during his consultation. He asked them questions and they kept quiet. Then he went on.. ' Come on, say something. Don't tell me you all have Yee Wee syndrome also... Hahahaha... It was extremely hilarious... I remember my friend Collin, said I spread yiweitis around... Not realy sure what he meant... Or actually, I forgot.. But who knows,, maybe I'll come up with a constellation of signs and symptoms one day and I'll call them the YiWei Syndrome!!! That's just a thought!! hahaha... Oh, I forgot about the main point. I AM NOT QUIET!!!! AHaahahaha,,, It doesn't take a genius to find out...hahahahha
:P

I'll stop for now... more updates in the future

Also, do forgive me if I made any grammatical errors. Feel free to correct me..

Inverness and CNY 2007