Thursday 23rd January
It was a boring morning in the hospice until I began to follow a doctor doing her rounds. Two patients that I had seen last week had passed away. I was not at all surprised because earlier on the doctors had discussed their cases and had predicted that they did not have long time to live. However, on a brighter note, a patient complimented the team because she had not felt better than she had today ever since she was diagnosed with sacral plexopathy. When I saw her today, she was about to get 2 units of blood transfusion and she had to lie on her side because of her condition. Even so, she still managed a weak smile. She held my hand as the doctor set up an IV access. She told me things that I found rather peculiar for a person to say to an acquaintance. She told me that I am blessed and worth a lot more than I think I am. She went on to say that my mum is definitely missing me now and that I should let her know that I am very blessed here. It was so sweet that it almost brought tears to my eyes. The timing was absolutely perfect… it fitted in so well because it was only recently that I felt that I was not worth much….This meant so much to me…. Thank you so much….
Shalini and I were in Hui Sian’s room chattering away when the fire alarm went off. Everyone in Scotia Court stopped whatever they were doing and we all went out of our wee (small) box. Some walked out unprepared with their socks on only, some with their night slippers and some without jackets. Bear in mind that it is winter now and that the road was wet due to melted snow. Some took their own sweet time to get properly dressed before going out (that is me!!!). We waited for 5 minutes and there was no fire team seen. Two of our friends ( Nazeer and Ruth) went to ask someone what should we do. So this was how the conversation went;
Medical Student: Our fire alarm went off
Mr. A : Where is it?
Medical Student: Scotia Court
Mr. A : Where is that? I have not heard of it before. I do not think it exists
Medical Student: Well, obviously it does. That is where we stay. It is a portable cabin
Mr. A : Oh, I see. Just hold on. I’ll send the fire team in
15 minutes passed
Eeeee…oooo….eeee…ooo…. (Sounds of the fire engine??). It got louder and then got softer for a few times indicating that they must have got lost
Finally 2 fire engines came. Firemen went to each room to check if something had set off the alarm. Nothing was found. So, after all this searching was finished,we all went back to our rooms….. Quite an interesting experience I would say….
Mrs. Tatiana Novikova
In my 7 years as a gymnast, my ballet teacher Mrs. Tatiana Novikova was the only one who had faith in me, that I would succeed one day. I dreamt of her yesterday. It was so vivid that it actually felt like it had happened. However, I was unable to remember every detail of the dream. All I know was that she was showing concern when I had gone missing. I really do not know what to make of the dream but it definitely took me back to the past.
I remember being the shortest gymnast in the Malaysian team. There were 20 of us and when we were lined up, I would always be at the far end. A few coaches and judges had doubted my abilities and had always used the height factor as a reason as to why I should not be kept in the team.
I trained hard and was thankful that you were there, Mrs. Tatiana.
Thank you for fighting for me to be kept in the team.
Thank you for having faith in me when everyone turned their back on me.
Thank you for teaching me how to prolong my lines
Thank you for teaching me the best ballet that I could ever have had
Thank you for loving me as much as you did.
Thank you for showing me how I should live my life
I sent you letters but there was no reply. I heard that you had moved. I tried very hard to get your address but all effort was futile. I can only hope that you did not think that I had forgotten you because I have not
I believe you will be proud of who I am today. Though I still walk funnily I finally understood what you had been trying to tell me long ago when I was still young. You said that when I gain maturity, I would be able to feel my body when it moves a lot better and that only then would I will be able to be more expressive in my dance.…. I can now understand that statement…Thank you very much…
I just cannot thank you enough…
Love you so much….