Exams

Studying for exams has become a very big chore for me. It is especially disappointing when you try so hard, and yet when you try to do a few questions, it is proven that you do not know anything at all. Sigh... This coming exam should be one of the toughest exams that I ever had. And I am quite doubtful about it... I used to like to think that I am quite smart. I whisked through primary school with good results and being hardly in school at all in secondary years, I managed reasonably well. Not the full straight A's most of my colleagues had, but definitely enough to make my parents proud of me. A-levels was probably the best time I had in my life.. good company, relaxing and also it was then that I realised how much I missed studying.. It is amazing how little I knew when I first started.. My Physics, Chemistry and Biology were all quite hopeless but with the guidance of great teachers and friends, I managed to do extremely well.. Then came IMU... Studying was turning into a chore.. all the memorising, understanding and the whole broad spectrum of diseases that I had to learn just dampened my spirit. I no longer enjoy the process of studying like I used to in A-levels ( though short, still very memorable). Luckily, I still managed well... I thought that was the hardest.... Apparently, I was so wrong... I cannot remember the last time I felt so stupid.. In Aberdeen, I am now in my 4th year and I would have to agree that I learnt a lot in the practical side of things.. but when it comes to knowledge, I take time to retrieve information and many times, I might be right but too afraid to speak up, or even worse, when I speak up (bear in mind, it takes a lot for me to speak up in class) I am told that I am wrong.. Sigh... I know it is fine to make mistakes, and that is probably where we learn from.. But to make mistakes after all that hard work.... Arrghh... It is just pure disappointment...Do not get me wrong.. I love medicine.. I cannot imagine myself doing anything else.. But the studying and the many disappointments on the way to the top is just so taxing and I feel that it has finally taken it's toll on me... I want to give up.. Sigh... Sob sob...

Take 3 deep breaths...

Ok, ok... Bad thoughts, bad thoughts!!! Go away!!! I think I should forget about all that nonsense and start studying.. And to all who are going to have exams soon, all the best.. and don't give up... We worked hard to get where we are.. Do not give up half way... We will all work hard towards our goal...And I think I still have 40 days to study....Jia You!!!! Gambatte!!!!

Jia you , yi wei!!! Hihihiihih... Weeeee........ Ok... Gonna go back to studying...